


i do (love you)

by stjudes



Series: gross husbands [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Married Life, Sappy as hell, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjudes/pseuds/stjudes
Summary: Years of being with Kyungsoo has taught Chanyeol that the best moments are always the quietest. It was a startling discovery to make for a person like him, who tends to find comfort in chaos. It didn’t make much sense five years ago. But now, this is the only thing that makes sense: Kyungsoo’s fingers running through his hair, tracing soothing lines down his neck and collarbone and then back up to his scalp, the rhythm of his touch constant as if guided by a metronome.





	i do (love you)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is really gross and sappy and self indulgent, because i love husbands. i guess they’re not /husbands/ quite yet in this, but they’re definitely......getting there
> 
> i kinda wanna turn this into a series, mostly because the idea of chanyeol holding a baby makes me really emotional ksdhsndnrhsnd. not edited, but enjoy anyways! :*

The bed creaks as Kyungsoo crawls under the covers, settling down next to Chanyeol with a tiny content sigh. He’s got his glasses on, the big thick ones that he hates to wear in public, and his skin is damp and pink from his shower. His t-shirt (Chanyeol’s, probably, because it’s three sizes too big) has a ketchup stain and giant hole near the shoulder. He yawns, stretches his arms over his head, winces as his joints crack. Then, finally, he turns to look at Chanyeol, grinning suspiciously when he finds that Chanyeol is already looking at him.

“You’re an old man,” Chanyeol informs him gleefully, rolling over into Kyungsoo’s space until he’s laying on top of him, as is their custom. One of Chanyeol’s many talents includes being a lapdog as well as an attentive, loving boyfriend. Kyungsoo doesn’t push him off or even pretend to complain. They’re long past that, after five years.

“I’m literally younger than you,” Kyungsoo reminds him, waiting until Chanyeol gets comfortable against his chest before resting a hand on his back, rubbing wide circles against his bare skin. The stressful little knots in the muscles of his back dissipate under Kyungsoo’s fingertips. He sort of melts on top of Kyungsoo like butter on a fresh pancake, spread-eagled and limp with happiness.

“Well, sure, if we’re talking numbers. I’m young at heart. You, on the other hand. You have a Barnes & Noble membership.”

“If that makes me old, then I guess you might as well put me in a retirement home.” Kyungsoo’s hand slows, as if he’s considering all of the coupons he stores in his wallet. “I just love good deals, Yeol.”

God, he loves him so much.

Years of being with Kyungsoo has taught Chanyeol that the best moments are always the quietest. It was a startling discovery to make for a person like him, who tends to find comfort in chaos. It didn’t make much sense five years ago. But now, this is the only thing that makes sense: Kyungsoo’s fingers running through his hair, tracing soothing lines down his neck and collarbone and then back up to his scalp, the rhythm of his touch constant as if guided by a metronome.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyungsoo asks softly, cutting through the muffled pattering of rain against their bedroom window. His chest rumbles against Chanyeol’s cheek as he speaks, like a cat’s purr. Chanyeol smiles into the vibration and noses against his skin in turn, pressing a kiss near his heart.

“Gay stuff,” Chanyeol answers happily. “You?”

“No, hold on- you’re always thinking about gay stuff. I want specifics.” Thunder booms outside, the force of it shaking the panes of their window; only, Kyungsoo doesn’t jump like he used to. His hand tenses in Chanyeol’s hair, like a computer considering shutdown, but it passes. It always passes, these days, and whether that’s because of him or something else- Chanyeol can’t really say. He likes to think his love has helped Kyungsoo just as much as Kyungsoo’s love has helped him, but he’s never been brave enough to ask.

Kyungsoo hooks an ankle around his. Or maybe he doesn’t have to ask. Things like this become less meaningful when you give them names, he thinks. Calling Kyungsoo his boyfriend is the one and only exception to that rule.

“You, obviously. But I’ll be even more specific,” Chanyeol grins, “since I’m always thinking about you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes scrunch up in pain and secondhand embarrassment and maybe a little affection. He doesn’t pinch him, at least, which Chanyeol appreciates.

“Forget I asked. I forgot how gay you actually are.”

“It’s cute that you think you can stop me. You wanted this, Soo, so let me tell you exactly what’s on my mind right now.” He peels himself off of Kyungsoo for half a nanosecond and then takes up residence in his lap, sitting on his torso like a king, deaf to Kyungsoo’s groans of pain. His hands come to rest on Chanyeol’s hips, though, so he figures it can’t be that terrible.

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have found you. You’re so small and the world is so big and yet somehow we got to where we are right now. Which is fate, probably. No- definitely. It has to be. Because,” he says, only a little bit shy as he leans down to kiss at Kyungsoo’s jaw, “if you’re not my soulmate, I don’t think I have one. That’s what I’m thinking about.”

When he pulls away, Kyungsoo looks like he’s suffocating. In a cute way. His face is bright red and weirdly shiny and his eyes are all glassy. It reminds Chanyeol of the time he brought a guinea pig back to their apartment without asking whether Kyungsoo was allergic or not. (He was.)

Kyungsoo looks at a point somewhere above Chanyeol’s head. “What- um, what else are you thinking about?”

He feels his lips curl up in a gentle little smile. This is it, he thinks: the final nail in the coffin, if it wasn’t completely shut already. He’s so overwhelmed with how much he cares for this sweet shy boy. He wants to marry him.

“I want to marry you,” he blurts out, so loud that Kyungsoo jumps. “Not right now, obviously. But one day. Because I’m thinking about how you always keep dinner warm for me when I’m too busy to eat and how you flew here from _Canada_ during Christmas when you found out I got appendicitis even though I told you not to bother and how you don’t get mad at me when I dye your white clothes pink in the laundry. And I’m thinking about how you make me want to be a better person all the time, and how much brighter everything feels when you’re around. Like it all matters more as long as you’re there.”

When he finishes, he’s breathing like he just ran a marathon. Kyungsoo is gaping at him, jaw hanging open like a very cute fish. For a moment they just regard each other, red-faced, still-bodied. Then Kyungsoo just sort of- crumples. He doesn’t cry, not quite, but his eyes get watery like he’s chopping onions and his face crinkles up into a mess of lines and wrinkles and furrowed eyebrows. But he looks happy. He looks happier than Chanyeol has ever seen him, maybe, minus the time Chanyeol’s mom sent him a giant yellow envelope filled with every single one of Chanyeol’s school pictures, from kindergarten to senior year.  
The knot in his stomach loosens as Kyungsoo tugs him down within kissing distance. He doesn’t think I’m too much.

“I think my organs are going to shut down because I love you so much,” Kyungsoo says, so fast that Chanyeol almost misses it. The words take a moment to process, his sluggish little brain taking its sweet time before sending him one singular message: !!!

Chanyeol rolls off of him and lays his head down on Kyungsoo’s stomach, his only goal to get as close to him as humanly possible. The rain begins to calm as he presses his cheek against the softness of Kyungsoo’s belly, arms curling around him. Kyungsoo’s leg drapes itself over his own, rubbing his heel up and down Chanyeol’s calf as his hand goes back to the task of sorting through his mess of hair. Thunder stutters halfheartedly.

“It’s harder for me, you know,” Kyungsoo says softly, breaking the gentle silence that has settled between them. “To say it out loud. I don’t know why and I’m trying to get better at it.”

“I don’t need you to say it out loud. I already know.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, tight-lipped. “It’s hard for me,” he repeats, “but I’m getting better. I care about you so much that I don’t even know what to do sometimes, like- I can’t even hold all of it inside me.”

“That’s scary for you,” Chanyeol says, trying to understand. He can’t really get Kyungsoo, not fully- he’s too vocal, loves too fiercely and too quicky to truly understand what Kyungsoo is so afraid of. But he wants to understand, and it makes him happy that Kyungsoo wants him to understand too.

“Yeah. But it’s-it’s not as hard as it used to be. You make- I don’t know. It’s like… everything seems more simple when you’re there. Like I-I don’t have to worry about anything. I can just be there with you and-and know that you mean it when you say you care.” Kyungsoo’s touch on his back is firm, intentional. “You don’t know how much I love you, Yeol.”

Chanyeol bites his tongue and pretends to consider this for a moment, pretends that his brain is capable of doing anything besides sending firing signals of love trust care worship cherish love keep hold kiss through his body’s circuitry. He’s not going to pretend that he’s never been insecure- it’s impossible not to be when you’re in love with someone like Kyungsoo, who keeps his emotions locked in a safe with a combination that never stops changing. He’s not going to lie and say he didn’t need to hear this, or that he’s never wondered whether Kyungsoo really truly does need him just as much as Chanyeol does.

But now he knows, or at least, he’s starting to know. Kyungsoo has been handing him his heart in a million tiny ways since the first day they met. Chanyeol might still be missing some pieces, but it’s different now- he can see how the parts make up the whole. There’s no room left for guesswork.

Chanyeol presses a line of kisses in the gentle dip between Kyungsoo’s ribs, soft skin a valley. He smells like Chanyeol’s argan oil shampoo even though he swears he doesn’t steal it.

“Well,” he says carefully. “That’s okay. I can wait until it stops being scary. We’ve got nothing but time, you know, even if you’re an old man.”

Kyungsoo paws at his shoulder and grabs his hand, pulls it up to lay against his chest. “Wait for what?” he asks, voice light and unburdened.

“To marry you, obviously. In a perfect world we would’ve been husbands like, yesterday, but,” Chanyeol says through a grin, and feigns a sigh, “I guess I can wait.”

Kyungsoo’s face blooms a few different shades of red, but for once Chanyeol isn’t afraid that it was too much, too fast. He can just be.

“Well,” Kyungsoo says, echoing him from moments before. “I don’t think you’ll have to wait too long.”

His head goes haywire- identical rings that click together when they hold hands, a voice proclaiming _I now pronounce you Mr and Mr Park_ , or maybe the other way around (or they could hyphenate it? Chanyeol can hardly breathe), Kyungsoo in a tux, holding each other in front of everyone they love the most and saying _This is who I want to be with forever! This is it!_ All the things that come after: joint bank accounts, a house instead of an apartment, introducing Kyungsoo as his husband rather than boyfriend, gray hair and musty sweaters and children, maybe, if they’re brave.

It’s a lot, but he’s swimming in it rather than drowning. He wants this wholeheartedly, he realizes, more simply and completely than he’s ever wanted anything.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyungsoo is saying, and he’s warm beneath Chanyeol, the roundness of his belly pressing up against Chanyeol’s cheek with every breath he takes, whole and real and solid and reliable. His hair is too short in the front and there’s dried toothpaste on his shirt. They’re going to argue about who has to leave the comfort of their bed to turn the light off like they do every night, and Chanyeol’s going to stumble over Kyungsoo’s slippers in the darkness. They’re going to wake up late and burn breakfast, probably, because no matter how rushed they are the sight of Kyungsoo in the kitchen always gets his engines revving, and he’ll forget that they both have jobs and responsibilities in favor of making out against the refrigerator. Chanyeol is going to whine when he has to leave because he’s just disgustingly in love like that, and Kyungsoo is going to laugh at him and give him one last kiss before they get into their respective cars.

“Gay stuff,” Chanyeol answers, and waits for Kyungsoo’s smile.

**Author's Note:**

> i love comments! i love talking to u! don’t be shy! and thank you for reading


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